"Less yesterday, more today."

It's been a while since I've written in here. The knowledge that no one reads it left the pages of my journal seeming more relevent and recieving.
I'm not moaning that no one reads it I don't exactly make an effort to publicise it. As it the case with so many of the thoughts I have in my mind, the things I do and the music I both listen to and play I long to share it with others but any effort to do so seems vain and prideful. This is a struggle my mind engages in on a day to day basis. A thought has just occured to me. Shouldn't everything I do be for G-d and not for the approval of man. G-d sees all things regardless of wether it's posted in a facebook status or not and if someone happens to come across my blog or hear one of my songs then that's a bonus but it's not an incentive for doing it and I guess before it's shared with other people I should check my motives. It's something to be aware of even though it leaves so many questions unanswered, for now I like the idea that if someone cares to ask, search or just stumbles across it then there is a small insight into my mind to be found, in all it's confusion. If you are reading this I guess you fit into one of those categories.
I find myself growing jealous of those who have a large receptive audience to express whatever they feel too. If I did have such an audience would I desire to express myself or G-d's love. I fear the answer and that is possibly the reason G-d has not granted me such an audience.
For now and forever all that matters is Him, I will search Him and get lost in Him.
Is expression and sharing of self vanity? It fills me with joy to see and hear others doing it but I feel guilty when I do so myself.
Peace be with you.