Everything seems to end and nothing seems to start.

As usual I come here after some time meaninglessly browsing facebook and listening to acoustic music that usually has a negative effect on my mood. If my blogs usually/often take a negative tone that's why. The things I speak about I generally look at with a fairly positive perspective, but when i come to express my thoughts in these blogs my mindset has shifted and the negative thoughts that were previously nagging at the back of my mind find an open path to pour out through my fingertips.
At current I have hit some serious confusion! I'm not really sure what path I'm on, never mind what path I need to take, all I know is this path seems to be leading to so many dead ends and no knew paths are appearing. Everything seems to end and nothing seems to start.
Last week I was asked to leave the band I was drumming in and Kevin messaged me to say he was working full time and can't carry on working on the ep at the moment. I'm still writing songs but I have neither the ability nor the facilities to anything with them. I miss being part of a band, I mean really being part, an integral part, it's been a long time now.
It's not just the music though obviously that was a huge part, I loved writing and I loved performing and recording but more than that I loved the unity. There's something beauty about the relationship you have with the other band members, it's a deep friendship, a joining, an understanding and a constant support. To be involved in such a unit gives such hope, purpose and joy, I miss it. I do have some awesome friends thought, tonight Fran and Shanks came over and we watched Ross Noble which was fun and very much a giggle. I feel like I'm becoming quite close friends with them, especially since the weeks camp. I'm very grateful for their friendship. Mike has been around recently and his faith has been an inspiration to me and again it's a priveleged friendship. There are many others too, I am very blessed and G-d is awesome.
Peace.