Change, so much change.
I now live with my grandma, only temporarily, it's cold. I've changed and troubles seem to have changed. There was so much troubling me and they seem to have been resolved through the simplicity of words. G-d is good and my life is His. What more words need I ever speak.
Amen
Saturday, 20 February 2010
Monday, 8 February 2010
G-d is good
We expect change to happen without being implemented, what foolishness.
The busyness of life carries me away from G-d and I expect Him to pull me back, He calls my name every day and I don't turn back untill crisis hits. A message from a friend, a realisation, a stream of thoughts, it all came flooding in today and I realised I need to sit in G-d's presence, spend time with Him, first and foremost, that comes before everything, Jesus have mercy on me.
G-d's been speaking to me about self image recently, how I view myself and I'm starting to realise the ugly picture my eyes paint when they look upon my own reflection. Wrong perspective led to a huge lack of self respect and ultimately to me ripping myself a part in my mind. I want to be the best of what G-d made me to be, after all He made me, what potential His creation holds, something deeper than human eyes can see. I will be the best of me.
The beard is gone, I'm not hiding anymore. I look upon my face and I tell myself G-d created it and how then can I hide it? Why would I want too? I even tried to overcome my fear of clothes shops, I got no further than standing outside a door, but surely intention is progress.
G-d is always good, I say it a lot, it's true. G-d is good!
The busyness of life carries me away from G-d and I expect Him to pull me back, He calls my name every day and I don't turn back untill crisis hits. A message from a friend, a realisation, a stream of thoughts, it all came flooding in today and I realised I need to sit in G-d's presence, spend time with Him, first and foremost, that comes before everything, Jesus have mercy on me.
G-d's been speaking to me about self image recently, how I view myself and I'm starting to realise the ugly picture my eyes paint when they look upon my own reflection. Wrong perspective led to a huge lack of self respect and ultimately to me ripping myself a part in my mind. I want to be the best of what G-d made me to be, after all He made me, what potential His creation holds, something deeper than human eyes can see. I will be the best of me.
The beard is gone, I'm not hiding anymore. I look upon my face and I tell myself G-d created it and how then can I hide it? Why would I want too? I even tried to overcome my fear of clothes shops, I got no further than standing outside a door, but surely intention is progress.
G-d is always good, I say it a lot, it's true. G-d is good!
Friday, 5 February 2010
I'll be me
I'm listening to John Reuben at the moment, I often feel the need to share what I'm listening to at the start of blogs or journal entries, like it's an insight into my current mood and it often is. However right now John Reuben is on for convenience more than for the fact that he empaphises with my indifference.
It's been a stressful week, I've felt like I've not stopped, I've been ill and had no time or rest to recover. There's been a lot of good through out but with no time to unwind or unload my head it all sort of creates a single constant noise in my head. Constant thoughts that lack coherency. But G-d has been speaking and I've been trying to listen. I feel like when I finally stop and the mist clears I'm in for a revelation, some insight will be left.
He's been speaking to me about identity and not being ashamed of it, in the past I've bent who I am to the shape and mould that I think will please others and make me liked. Now I want to live to the will of G-d first and foremost, I want to be who he made me to be unashamedly. Converstations, songs and thoughts have all been saying this recently. I'm excited and scared.
Shalom
It's been a stressful week, I've felt like I've not stopped, I've been ill and had no time or rest to recover. There's been a lot of good through out but with no time to unwind or unload my head it all sort of creates a single constant noise in my head. Constant thoughts that lack coherency. But G-d has been speaking and I've been trying to listen. I feel like when I finally stop and the mist clears I'm in for a revelation, some insight will be left.
He's been speaking to me about identity and not being ashamed of it, in the past I've bent who I am to the shape and mould that I think will please others and make me liked. Now I want to live to the will of G-d first and foremost, I want to be who he made me to be unashamedly. Converstations, songs and thoughts have all been saying this recently. I'm excited and scared.
Shalom
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