disturbing a bus

I went to the cinema today with my good friend hobbs, we watched "no country for old men" which was ok.
Me and tim (hobbs) always have the weirdest conversations and on the bus on the way back we got off on one of our weird tangents. We must of been talking quite loudly cause i noticed the whole bus seemed to be silent and listening in, and most probably very disturbed. One girl had even taken one ear out from her music, she had obviousely caught something in the silence between songs and was interested haha.
Hobbs chose this moment to say the worst thing ever, we were for some reason talking about 9/11. I think i said something about how i used to go on the old flight simulators and crash in to the twin towers as a young inmature kid, then hobbs says the funniest but worst thing too say with a crowded bus listening in. He goes "it wasn't that great really though was it? i mean hitting one of the worlds biggest buildings, woopdydoo! it's a huge target, not so hard, they should have hit something smaller, that would of been impressive." The best thing was that if you looked round the bus everyone face read, "that's wrong you can't say that" It amused me anyway so i thought i'd share it with you.

silence

The silence is still there inside buried beneath the noise, like the summer grass choking beneath the autumn leaves, cause sound doesn't drive the quiet away it just covers it up.
Turn over the leaves, turn over a new leaf, through your death you will survive 'cause through his death you are alive. Do you ever feel like you're living inside your mind? What use are dreams if they stay that way?
We're united in our sadness, in our misery we are one, if we just sit there in silence it will do more than dreams ever could.


Just a short song i wrote today, it has element of rumi and khalil gibran in it, though they said it better than i ever could.

Their hearts are aligned though they stand in twisted lines.
Their words are inconsistent but always gratefully recieved, they say it's not the situation but the way it's percieved.
They don't tell you how to live they just show you with their lives and how could you ever resist such perfect peaceful smiles.
Their joy comes with their separation from the world, when everything is meaningless there's nothing left to bring you down.

Every heart longs for such perfect unity but so many hearts are empty, they don't know where it's found. My heart is longing for such perfect unity but my heart is still empty and growing tired of this search.

Love surrounds your every being, it's visible in your eyes, the world they wont accept you but you're above their jealous lies.
How i long to be up there with you but the reach is simply too far, i could never get close to the great example that you are.
Gentle words flow off your tongue like living water awakening the spirit of every person you encounter, but each word i concieve sounds empty and contrived, limited by this body i'm trying so hard to leave behind.
I place hope in thoughts i could never read all the time knowing only one opinion should matter to me.
Your love is pure and like sweet oil on my head, if only i could give you more than this.

But you accept me despite my every blemish, you believed in me like no one else ever would. Your grace has given me a chance to be so much more.
I was lowly and abandoned yet still beautiful in your sight.
You say just live your life as worship and leave the rest to me, it doesn't matter how you feel, just know the truth and keep believing it.

drought

I've had a real writers block with my song lyrics and poems etc. recently.
It was like it lifted for just a moment tonight, i started to write a song and i was happy with the words, they weren't happy words and they weren't like i usually write but i was happy with them.
The block soon returned, i was left staring at the page without a clue where to go from here, then there was a powercut, just for a second, but long enough to mean the computer shut down and i hadn't saved the song. The little bit of creativity i have had this month taken away. I could try and remember it but it wouldn't be the same and i was stuck anyway, i guess it put me out of my misery.
All i can do is hope it returns soon, i'm gonna go to bed, new days hold the promise of better things.

Why is is that the people who have the most, complain the most?
I'm guilty of this, i have a great family, a comfortable house, a stable job, a supportive band and most of all im a free 'cause of God's love and that's all i need, yet somehow i have this strange idea that i need so much more.
I spend a lot of time at work listening, listening to people sit, drink coffee and talk about, well life i guess. These are people who have money to throw away, and they do, yet all they talk about is their misfortune and how they've been screwed by the government, i would personally like the government to throw these people on the street and see how screwed they feel then.
You see the ones who've really been screwed, drinking dirty water in a hot country struggling to find food to stay alive while they burn all the day with no shelter from the hot sun, why is it that these are the happy people, the ones with the smile on their face appreciating the little they have. Please take all i have, i'd rather be one of them. I think i'm starting to understand why Jesus said it is better to store up riches in heaven. It's true the treasures of this earth are nothing.
shalom.

Blood Red

Blood red and olive green light shroud our disfigured nights. This bottles all i have now but i watch the road from my window as if i'm waiting for someone, well it's been 3 years now and i'm still here alone, does nothing ever change?
If i were a street lamp I'd shine out proud, confident I'm lighting their way home.
If i were a tv set I'd laugh out loud, confident i'll never be alone.
If i have to stay in this forsaken room with my forgotten dreams for one moment more, G-d only knows what i'll do.
This bottles half empty now and so is my mind, there's some memory's to deep for the drink to destroy, some hurts too strong to let go.
Blood runs red when the knife cuts in deep, if only answers were as simple as this.

stars

There's a line in a "bright eyes" song, where Conor sings "stars that clear have been dead for years but the idea still lives on"
The light from a star takes years to reach the earth so we can still see it in the night sky after it's gone out.
It would be easy here to get in to a philisophical debate contemplating wether or not the star at this point would still exist, i must admit with the thought of sounding clever and meaningful this is shamefully tempting, but it's meaningless wether or not the star exists.
I believe there's a more interesting point too take from this fact and the poetic genius of mr oberste. Without the source what remains of the light will inbetibly eventually fade.
That for me put's a new light (if you'll exuse the pun) on the section in scripture where we (the believers) are told to "shine like stars."
I love stars, i know the love of stars and the night sky is so clice, but as cheesy as it is to say it, i love lying on my back at night looking at stars and the moon, admiring the creation of G-d. I hate the fact that the concept of stars has been so misused.
I often watch the stars out my bedroom window aswell, when i first look out i can often only see a few but when i switch of the rooms light, it's like the sky suddenly lights up.
I wont explain the message i found behind that but leave you to consider it for yourself, kinda like Jesus did so wisely with his parables, the more i can learn from and live like Jesus the better.

Hope and Change

2008
It's been named the year of hope.
I was taking to my sister earlier and she told me that 8 is the number of new begginnings.
Both of these have been really relevent for me recently.
I've had a bit of a writers block since the new year, my songs just don't flow like they used too.
I guess it's time for change, a new start, somewhere else.
When this album's been recorded the band won't have much time left anyway, i guess i'll just travel.
Most of my songs recently have been about how i'm sick of this place but i'm sick of writing about this place, it's a dreadful circle that i wont break untill i leave, i'll just have to ride my time till the album's finished and at least the sadder this place makes me the more feeling i'll sing with on the album.
Me and tom we're talking earlier about writing, he's had a bit of a block too, he was saying he's gonna start writing more about other people, i think i should try that, i'm tired of writing about me and it may put some fresh perspective on things.