It's been a while

There's still quite a lot of snow on the ground outside, it's slowly melting away but right now a white sheet still covers the grass outside the window. Snow makes everything look pure, no matter what was there before, it doesn't matter, everything looks the same now, white, pure and beautiful.
Maybe that's a bit of a lame way to make the point but i've thinking recently about how G-d can wash us all white and pure again. i went away this weekend with some friends from st nics, it was a wonderful time, hanging out with friends, recieving encouragement and being able to give it too, no matter who we were, who we'd been, what we'd done, we'd all come together for this one purpose, to worship G-d, that felt good. The past has happened, somethings I've learned, somethings G-d's forgiven me for, now to look to the future. You see that's what I want for the future, like this weekend, different types of people, different, gifts, encouraging each other, come together for one purpose, oh please Lord, it would mean so much to have people like that to make music with!
When i finish college i think I'm gonna move to notts, get a flat with a few friends, buy some studio equipment, write and record. That's the next step i think, let's see how it goes.
I just wanted to share some thoughts, it's been a while.
peace.

i could be so

Find the girl with beauty far greater than she could ever realise and she doesn't.
Whatever evil has dragged her out here is the reason she's left her guard down. she'll let you in tonight and you wont have to sleep alone.
When you turn the music up real loud, people only speak when they have something to say, small talk is for small minds and mine is full of ever widening despair with thoughts of you exposed.
This is not my home but i'll make the most of it while i'm here, if you don't smile they pry deeper and my mind is full of ever widening despair with thoughts of me.....alone,
but this is not about me, it's about who i could be.

hope is but a fading dream part 2

With the last year quickly gone, time was fast moving on and no matter how hard i tried, it was leaving me behind.
she had circles in her eyes, so i drew between the lines, put her ambitions down to rest, each day she loved me less and less.
i took a flower from the field rubbed it in my wounds till they healed and though it smelt so sweet, we were a step closer to defeat.
i watched you turn, i watched you sway as the wind carried you away, i'd been holding on so tight, now you're gone i feel so light. So much noise so much quiet, like a library and a riot, mix the two in to one, that how i feel now you're gone.
Another day waiting for your call, but i hear nothing atall, wasting time on distant hope is the only way i cope.

empty rooms

It feels so strange to walk around this house now, and see those empty rooms so full of memorys.
The living room where we'd chill, and the laughter would take us deep in to the night, the dining room where we'd push back the chairs and turn up the amps till the neighbours were knocking on the door. It seems like now all we ever do is drink and try to convince ourselves nothing ever changed.
When you are lucky enough to be so blesed you don't truly believe it could ever end, all we have now is our nostalgic remarks.... "whatever happened to those times?"
When we were young our stupid little dreams meant everything to us, now our dreams have grown old, we've taken different paths and drifted apart. This house is my past now and i'm leaving it behind, that doesn't mean i'm not grateful for those times, but with my life packed in boxes and and set upon a new path, maybe like the eagles my youth can be renewed.

another one

i typed a few words in to my phone at work today, sorta turned in to a song, here's the words :)

we sat in the cold and u spoke so slow, like you were waiting for the words to fall from the sky. You said you'd "never felt as lost as that night when i found you, all alone picking apples from the forbidden tree," and you looked such a sorry sight but that was beautiful to me.
i opened my heart and i opened my eyes, to see you had done the same, and when you get too far away i remind myself your skin and bone just like me.
I sipped my drink, you downed yours quick, like someone had stirred in the answers you were searching for. I was lost for words, as if they could help, you just held your glass out like you were asking for more, but i had nothing to give you and i was so scared i might take from you, so i just left.....left you sitting there.

overcome

I said my goodbyes with a solemn remark, but no convincing stopped this pounding inside of my heart, beating in time to a different story, screaming this is not the end.
Words and confusion mix in my mind and flow out like a the river that brought me here. I guess it's pride that keeping me here, we all make mistakes, i acted like a fool, i acted like a man. "So sorry to tumble this throne", and now i see, i'm no different to you but at least we're in this together and we'll always overcome.

under the sheets

The taste of wine on her lips, the only reason you're not alone tonight.
Alone in this dark room, you would die tonight.
The way you clasp your cold hands between your knees as the feeling returns, a reminder of why
you should never touch a frozen heart, but there's peace in the quiet when the lord speaks.
There's something in your mind that compels you to hurt those who care most about you.
There'll be nothing left to care about soon, for now at least you have your goodbyes and the memory of how she smiled when she lay.... under the sheets.